The english gramatics
Hi mates! Today I’m want to be a serious. I am notice more and more that there are many poeples that is coment in my blog that are not speak the good english. I’m know many of thems are australian and I’m understand is a dificult to write in the 2nd language but is not a good excuse really. You are never know, may be one day they are want to leave the sheep farm and come to england for work in a pub or edit the fish magazine. And then they will need the english. look to me. i’m italien. if I can do, so you can! Is a serious problem for the world today. english is an international language and evryone is need it, from the homeless in amsterdam to the ladyboy in thailand, they are all speak "the international language of comunication". But in the same times the english peoples are forget there fuck language. just like in the football, the rugby or the croquette, the english are invent the game and forget for how to play!
Of course mainly is a very dificult to learn the english because of the english teachers – the worst profesion in all the country. How we can trust to this peoples to teach the world "the international language of comunication" is a completely mysterious for me. Most english teachers are completely losers that are not able for find a english girlfreind so are try for fuck as many foreign womens as posibly, usualy the Japan or Korea ones that are very quiet and impresionable and are not really understand how much a loser is the teacher.
The mens teachers usualy are take many drugs and think they are very clever becuase they can to speak there own language very well, and think they are very handsomes because after many years of fail to pull up the english girls because of there shit job are finaly manage to fuck with a lonly and vunrable Japan girl that is not understand nothing in english at alls. the womens teachers are usualy ugly, without sensation of humor, have a boyfrend that is work in the publishing and spend the all day complaning because the photocopyer is not work. For become a english teacher is a very easy. Simply join a unsucesful band or become a failure actor, and then in the spare time teach english in a language school with a fuck rubish name such as “Garden of Eden Language training” above to the shoe shop in Oxford Streets. then invite all your students to your rubish gigs and take there money.
Anywhere, I must stop now before I am become too anger. So without more further do, please sit back, take a pen and papers, and prepare to learn the english from one that is know ...
Today I’m want start with the gramatics. The gramatics is the “building block” of language. Is more impotant even then the words. How? I’m explain ... if I am a tourism in England and I’m very need to use a toilet in a pub but I’m not know the word, is not really a problem. I can draw a picture, make the sounds of a flush or a shits, or even make a little performance or miming. Of course the bar man will to understand and allow me for use the bath room. BUT if I am not know the corect gramatics can be a very confusion. He is not know if I am talk in the present and I need a shit now in this moment, or if I am talk in the past and explain about a nice shit I was make yesterday or if I am tell him my future plans for a shit tomorow. By the time he is find out the real, I probably am make an acident in my trousers. What a shames!
The english gramatics is very simply. Is divides into 8 units more or less, that is call “tensions”. they are tell you the time of what you are say: present, past and futures. Below I am present my guide to the english tension system:
Present Simply (or simply Present)
Is the tension that is use for describe something that is hapen every day or is a regular activity. So you can say “I am get up at the morning” or “I’m brush my teeths” or “I’m smoke a joint” or “I’m make a wank” because this things are regular and are do evry day. For this reason is the favorite tension of the autistics, like the Dustin Hoffman. If is something not usual or regular, or you are not do it on the Sundays, you must to use the present simply progresive.
Is the tension that is use for describe something that is hapen now, in this exactly moment, for example “I siting in front my computer”, “I tiping”, “I becoming bored, I thinking about look to some porns”. Is a very dificult tension to use because is not posible always for describe what is hapen now - by the time you are finish the sentence something other is hapen and the thing is finish. The way for avoid this problem is to make your watch one minute slowly so you have some extra time for make the sentence.
Present simply passive
Mates, consider about this two sentences:
1. The dog was bite the man
2. The man was bite by the dog
May be you can to see, there is a diferent very suttle but very impotant. In the first sentence, the dog was bite the man. But in the secondly sentence, the man was bite the dog. So we are use the pasive tension when the person (or dog) that is make the action is more impotant, or we are not know who is make the action, or we are not care who is make the action, or we are not remember the name of the person. Which is make it a very pointless tension and one that is not really need in english. However is very usefull for report the crime and is use often when you are call to the polices, for example if you are attack, or if you are rape or if you are sting by the wasp. But pay atention – if you are use the pasive tension incorectly, the pigs will beleive that you are the crime and not the victim and may be will to arest you.
This is the tension you are use if the action was begin in the past but you can see the result now. is formation by the noun “have” follow with the past particle, for example “I have spilled my beer to the floor” Remember we can only to use this tension if we can see the result now - so if you are say “I have made a wank”, probably still you are cleaning the semens from the belly. Is a very childish tension and is use usualy only by the childrens very youngs, for example “mummy I’ve done a poo”. Is why you will not find never an example of this tension in my writings.
Present Perfect Continues
Similar like the present perfect, accept is a continuos action that is never end. You must to be very carefull with use this tension because can be very confusion. For example, consider about the following sentences:
1. I have wanked since 6 years (Present Perfect)
2. I have been wanked since 6 years (Present Perfect Continues)
The firstly sentence tells us that I was start wank 6 years ago, when I was have the 14 years, and still do from times to times when I am not have the girlfriend. But the secondly tension is a very difference. Is mean I am make a wank continuously, without end, for 6 years!! Evrybody is know that this is a fuck imposible! The most longest I was ever make a wank was just 27 minutes. Stefano was tell me he was once make it for 3 hours and 52 minutes but he is a fuck lier and I’m not beleive. Anywhere, you can to see the danger of this very confusion tension so pay atention or you may end in the prison, in the especial part for the criminal insanes or pervertes very sickness.
Is a very simple tension and we are use it for any actions that are finish and was take place after the year 1900 (for any action that was hapen before this time, use the past historic). The formation is a very simple, just put the was before the verb. Anybodys that can not use this tension corectly is probaly suffer from profound learning dificulty or is a retarded. the english are use this tension less then most other europe peoples, because they often are get so drunk and not remember the past at alls.
Here is a quote from my english teacher, a fuck idiot that was only do this job for fuck the Japan girls:
“The English language, unlike French or Italian for example, does not have a future tense. Futurity is not expressed by the conjugation of the verb; instead there are a number of lexical structures that are used to articulate future plans, wishes and intentions.”
This is tipical of the english whose are the most pesimistic peoples in europe. they are know that the tomorow is bring only the rain, and an other day in the pub drinking warm beer and watch the ugly womens make a fight, so they are pretend there is no futures. But is a fuck ridiculous. of course there is always the future, even so for the english.
There are many ways to talk the future. if you are think you are probably make the action you can to say “I’m will take some acids tomorow”. If you are more sure and is a plan or intent, you can to say “I am going to will take the acids tomorow”. if you are very sure and you was alredy buy the drugs, you can to say “I am willing to take the acids tomorow”. if you are really fuck sure and there is no dought in your mind at alls, you can to say “I am alredy going to will take the acids tomorow” which is mean you was do it alredy. In this ways, the future is become the past, leading us to conjecture about the very nature of time and its fragile relationship with linguistic form and spatial boundaries. For this reason is the favorite tension for the drugs users and is very popular in the acids or mushrooms partys.
So mates, I'm will to stop there because I am sure is enough for one day and I am become very boring and want to look to some porns. But remember to study always, and please say me the results. I am look forward to hear your coments!