Hi goozers!

Many greatings mates! But lissen please. Yesterday I was receive the news very intresting. I'm like to tell. My good freind Stefano Amaretto was yesterday return from the United Britain. He was went this rubish country for have the operation. (Are you know mates, the british peoples are very kindly and they are give free medicin traetment for all peoples of the world? only you must to stay in the waiting room for 2 weeks. Also the nurses are not beutiful as italy ones. They are all come from New Zeeland, a new iceland in north of holland, for work and for learn about the british culture, that is ecstacys, speeds, cokes etc. the populaton of New Zeeland is 165 and national sport I think is call "Wales" a game very gay where 9 mens make with linking arms and legs and smelling an others testiculars, try to push an other 9 mens into the sea. the referee is a sheeps)
Anywhere, I'm lose the point. Sorry (to much weeds!). Yes mates, my freind Stefano was return from the england (that is another name for united britain. british peoples are very confusion about their county. Sometime the football fanatics are go another county and are become very angry when somebody is use the wrong name. Then they are destroy the all town) He was have 2 operationals. one for his lung that was colapse after smoke a very big bongo (for more explain, plaese look to my history "what a funny!"). The other was for the ear. this is an others funny history. Since 2 years ago Stefano and I was study in St. Giles international, that is part of university of england. We was all live in the 5 floor and always was have a funny. One day, Murad the very craze russia guy was wanted to practice the wresling. We was make the wresling in the roof garden but before was take therfore many speeds and cokes. MURAD WAS BECOME VERY CRAZE! Was start leave white stuffs from the mouth and was shout like a very craze monster. Than Murad was bite out the half of the ear of the Stefano! Was to much a funny!! Of course now when we are remember this very funny history we are laugh and laugh (even so I must to shout. Stefano is not hear very good)
Anywhere, again I'm lose the point. Stefano was tell me that in england now the peoples are not say "mates". Now the white peoples are say "goozers". And the blacks are say "bruvvies". Is true? Is very impotant for me that i am learn all the british slags and cocknys. So, british goozers! (and bruvvy! i'm think i'm know one black), plaese say me the true. and also plaese say me an other cockny language. Other goozers! plaese say me the slangs of your country. I'm wait your coments!!